Current Mood: Pensive
Music Playing: Atmosphere, You Can Imagine How Much Fun We're Having
"Why is the measure of love always loss?"(Written On The Body,Jeanette Winterson)
Sometimes you never really realize how much you love something until it’s lost, regardless of what that something is; and so in the future we always measure the things of life based on what we have already lost. When you lose what you love most dearly, it makes you realize that there are so many other things in the world worth loving, things that you forgot to love; like friends, family, hobbies or even yourself. The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before. When we are able to regain all other loves that we pushed aside, the love we lost becomes more and more not worth mentioning. The loss of love will always be measured against new love, thought it’s hard to imagine when new love might re-appear, sometimes the loss of love is the best thing that can happen. Often times it does one of two things; it can make you a stronger person and makes you realize that the love you had was quasi blind and though it felt like love, there was always something missing. Or it can make you realize that what you had was true love and the separation pulls at your hunger pains for the companionship and love of a soul mate lost. Sometimes neither person wants to admit the struggle and deal with it until it becomes too late and sometimes the most minor event can affect everything, and when that seemingly insufficient thing happens it sets everything else in motion...the most minor event can change everything...sometimes for the better, even if it doesn't seem like it at first (Scrubs). There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness. (unknown). No one is perfect, and therefore there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but every so often the person that you are with may seem like they aren’t the right fit, but often times all it takes is a little work and compromise and understanding to make you realize that they are the right fit, you just have to find a more comfortable pair of shoes… because you both had grown up and didn’t fit into the shoes you started in. Unfortunately its not until they are gone that you can realize this. I think the problem with most people who act impulsively believing that they will get want they want, end up feeling guilt, remorse and invariably want back what they cant have. But sometimes, when they are finally gone, it can make you realize just how much it was never meant to be and you wasted away the days hoping that fate would step in and make a decision for you. Time can expose you to a whole new feeling in your heart, and it makes you ask the question, what was I fighting for? What was every thing I had to say, every letter I wrote? Was it your stubbornness or my own? Bottom line: it's couples who are truly right for each other that wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. Love is so terrifying in a multitude of ways, when you have it you always fear losing it, and when you don’t have it you fear that you may never find it again. The loss of love by itself is enough to kill a man. It was once believed in the times of Shakespeare that when one sighed, it took the most vital blood away from the heart. Who is to say that one is not capable of dying of a broken heart? It happens all the time, the loss of a lover frequently drives people toward suicidal tendencies, and then sometimes the death isn’t so sudden, it is a slow agonizing death, in which, with every sigh, the heart grows weaker. We like to think that there is a good excuse, a good reason for acting the way we do when we push love away, but for the life of me I can’t really think of a good one, not for me, not for her either… Typically, symbols of love are supposed to remain strong and remain a promise and a bond between two people. Rings have always been representative of what is supposed to be an everlasting love. Unfortunately history has shown that putting a ring on someone’s finger doesn’t always mean happily ever after, but when you plan for it, you plan for a future and you give a loved one a ring and make a promise to each other, you would think that you owe it to each other to at least try to revive something that may have been lost along the way. Promise ring, engagement ring or wedding band, they are symbols of a promised love, through thick and thin. If love is worth fighting for, you stick it out at any cost, and that’s what I tried to do… but it became obvious that her affection for me was gone, and there was no fight for her, because she just didn’t care… within six weeks it became obvious that the relationship was not worth exploring, the happily ever ending that we had worked for, turned from a fairy tale to a nightmare. What happens when the future is lost? You get to re-invent yourself… somewhere along the way things changed, the stresses of life battled against cupid and in the end won, but the loss is worth measuring for yourself, not just for you both. It is the clichés of love that make it so hard to give up on. When you lose someone you thought was your future, it perpetually alters your life. You don’t just hit delete and pretend that there was nothing ever there, nothing is done quick except tying shoes and electric bills(Astronautalis), and you never, ever, ever get over it. There will always be a piece of that love that you carry around with you forever; eventually the pain does stop, but the memories never do, there will be new faces and new love, but that wound will never be properly mended. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you, and no one else can fit it.(Written On The Body,Jeanette Winterson) In the end it's the “what ifs” that hurt the most… and trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met. What is the point of movement when movement indicates life and life indicates hope? (Written On The Body,Jeanette Winterson) Sometimes life really surprises you and often times it is the small things that make the biggest impression on you, like seeing an old friend and meeting new, fresh, beautiful faces, beautiful souls… and though they may live 1,000 miles away, it makes you appreciate everything, and it is a reassurance that the heart of life is good. I guess that’s the funny thing about love; you never know which way it's going. Like me: I lost love, lost the battle...but at least I went down swinging.
