Current Mood: Romantic
Music Playing: Mars Volta, De-Loused In The Comatorium
Though still a romantic soul, I’ve grown to have a bitter taste in my mouth due to the malevolent actions of the female species. Every once and awhile there comes along a break up where you can’t seem to get the taste out of your mouth. I believed that when I found love, it would last and the first true love would end up being that last; but as it turns out, sometimes you end up getting burned by love. But just as I was starting to think that I would never get that unrelenting taste out of my mouth, amidst the loss of strength and courage, I thought I had lost the ability to accept love again. For a temporary moment, love had become my greatest adversary; I loathed the thought of being in love, I hated couples blatantly PDA-ing it up in front of me, but it wasn’t long until I started to come back to my senses and realize that, that hatred was fleeting and I still welcomed love with open arms, I just had to go get it. I had found myself wrapped up in the stories of friends who had become so jaded by love that they no longer wanted any part of at. They desired the attention and the comfort of a mate, but they lacked the desire to turn those feelings into love. As an “anti-lover” those who disdain love end up becoming loves most powerful victim. At heart, I am a hopeless romantic, and therefore there was no use in fighting and disdaining love because it would eventually come back my way. As for my friends, they are destined to succumb to the unrelenting arrow. It is in moments of despondency when love captures you. It’s like when your immune system is low after a night of drinking and cold virus attaches itself to you and manifests. Love attacks you when you’re weak, but instead of making you feel worse, it makes you feel better. Love enters through the eyes upon that first glimpse; hence the phrase love at first sight. Love then like a virus, metastasizes inside you without you knowing about it, totally guerrilla style, without your consent and out of your control. Those who managed to resist and push away love are dumbstruck when love finds them. Love grabs hold of every pessimistic ideal and heals all previous wounds and scars as a persuasive cure all, attacking blood cells, controlling the flow of the body. Happy love has no history, so it should come at no surprise that the majority of songs written are about love lost. But once you have lost love, it makes you all the more susceptible to it. The songs within the pop culture seem to be written for the demographic that listens to them…young and in love, all going through the same ups and downs. But that artist that you vibe with because he/she speaks so eloquently or angrily about love lost also knows both sides of love, and the very next single is about new love. Once bitten by love, you need to get some hair of the cat the scratched you. Being single is a fun and enjoyable time, and you may think that you are content being single for the rest of your life because love has treated you so poorly, but contentment is not a feeling, it is an absence; “contentment is the positive side of resignation. It has its appeal but its no good wearing and overcoat and furry slippers and heavy gloves when what the body really wants is to be naked.”(Written On The Body, Jeanette Winterson) When you desire the company of the opposite sex, you desire love. You desire because you lack; you no longer remember love and you lack its warmth. You desire passion and passion means suffering and your heart has suffered enough! When you think you might have found love again, it becomes unattainable until your self-realization of your jaded perspective and so you desire the unattainable to keep from desiring and you become loves most powerful victim… until you realize that love is again an attainable thing. It is tangible, because you feel it…
